Q: When my son came home from school, I noticed he was unusually protective of his backpack. I asked him if he had any homework and he grabbed his backpack so I couldn't look inside. The next morning when he was in the shower, I snooped in the backpack and found a little bag of marijuana. When I talked to him about it he said it wasn't his and begged me not to tell his dad. I don't know whether or not to believe him. I haven't told my husband about this yet. Would that be breaking my son's trust in me to tell his dad when he asked me not to talk to him?

Q: My son is 16 years old and a great kid. For the most part, he does what he is told, is doing well in school, and respects his mom and me. Lately, he has been really pushing the curfew limits, coming in up to an hour after he should be home. We stay up until he gets home and there are no signs that he has been drinking. We've talked with him three times and he just says it is no big deal and that he just was having fun with his friends. How do we get this to stop so we can get our sleep?

Q: My son argues with me until I am ready to scream. He argues about virtually everything, no matter how trivial. It is like he has to debate every point until I agree that he is right. My husband and daughter say that we are driving them crazy with all the arguing and yelling. How do I get my son to stop?

Q: My daughter is 14 years old and is in the eighth grade. I found a receipt for Coricidin in her pocket. She said she bought it because she has a cold. I don't see any signs that she is sick. When I asked her for the rest of the medication she said that she must have lost it. I don't quite know what to make of this but I am concerned because things just don't add up.

Q: Communicating with our son has become very difficult. He isn't disrespectful and doesn't swear at us. But, he just doesn't talk with us much. When he is home, he stays in his room and rarely comes out to be with us. This has been going on for several months now. We're worried that something is bothering him but when we ask him if something is wrong he tells us to stop questioning him. How can we get him to start talking with us again?

Q: We have two teens, a son and a daughter. For the most part, they are doing quite well. But, I'm having a difficult time understanding their emotions. Sometimes, they get upset about something that to me seems like no big deal. Other times, something significant happens and it doesn't seem to bother them. I want to understand them and their feelings more.

Q: For the past two months, my sixteen-year-old daughter has been spending nearly every waking moment with her boyfriend or talking to him on her cell phone late at night. He is the first “real” boyfriend she has had. He seems like a very nice boy so I understand her excitement. She is doing well in school but her friendships have suffered. Her father who lives nearby is just as concerned as I am so I don't think I'm overreacting. What can we do to help her see that she is overdoing it?

Q: Our son has been anxiously waiting for acceptance letters from various colleges where he applied. Despite being an A student with pretty good SAT scores, he was rejected by UCLA, which was his first choice. He said it didn't bother him although it was apparent that he was very disappointed. Now we are becoming nervous wrecks. We check the mailbox daily hoping for acceptance letters from his other top school choices. What can we do to help him get through this?

Q: I read an editorial in The Orange County Register last Sunday about how local students are not learning even the basics about our culture. I thought the article was an exaggeration until I asked my daughter some of the questions in the article. She didn't have a clue what many of the answers were! Melissa is a senior in high school with almost a 4.0 grade point average. How is it possible for her to get such good grades and not know information that I just assumed even an average student would learn?

Q: My ex-wife lives out of state and hasn't had much contact with my 15-year-old daughter for the past six years. My daughter is a wonderful girl and I think we've both adjusted fairly well. But, I've never gotten around to talking with her about sex. It seems so awkward and I figured they teach sexual education in school anyway. Should I talk with her or just leave it alone?

Q: I read an editorial in The Orange County Register last Sunday about how local students are not learning the basics about our culture needed to be successful citizens. I thought the article was an exaggeration until I asked my daughter some of the questions in the article. She didn't have a clue what many of the answers were! Melissa is a senior in high school with almost a 4.0 grade point average. How is it possible for her to get such good grades and not know information that I just assumed even an average student would learn?

Q: Our daughter, Janelle, is leaving for college on the east coast this week. We were so proud when she was accepted but now I'm having second thoughts. I'm questioning whether or not she is mature enough to live on her own, especially so far away from home. I'm also worried about drug and alcohol use at the school. Drugs or alcohol haven't been a problem in the past but I know that some teens that go away to college use drugs there even though they wouldn't do that at home. Janelle seems excited about college and assures me that everything will be okay but I'm considering asking her to stay home and go to school locally.

The therapists at South County Psychotherapy bring many years of clinical experience and expertise to our practice. Each therapist offers unique therapeutic specialties and skills to assist our clients' varying needs. Call if you would like to speak with one of our knowledgeable therapists at (949) 916-5060.